"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
