five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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