Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it's like iHOP with fire
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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