Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
