my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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