at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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