do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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