she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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