I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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