how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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