I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
