my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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