So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
soo... how was my night?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
