Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
