i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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