my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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