You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize