threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize