hell yes lets make some ravioli
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
