apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
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just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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