his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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