Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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