Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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