Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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