Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
time to smoke my breakfast
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
