call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
