some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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