Yo dont text me then not text me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
