dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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