i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
