go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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