Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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