i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
