the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
