whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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