Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
