I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
