What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
