thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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