he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
