going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I want is dick and wine.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
