I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
