he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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