I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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