so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sarcasm needs its own font
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
