Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
