Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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