I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
