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dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
