What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
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