well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
