Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize