Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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