I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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