Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
