Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
