I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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