My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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