Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
