I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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