This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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