I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
