kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
