Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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